Looking For Paradise
by nh1021
Summary: Why is it that when you are most miserable, everyone else seems so shiny and annoyingly happy?
1. Chapter 1

**AN:** Just some random thought that popped into my head as I saw the first 'Sneak Peak' of GA S07xE12 on Youtube this afternoon. If I decide to continue with this story, it will probably be no more than 4 or 5 chapters long. I would like to finish it before 7x12 airs on Thursday **1/13/11**, that's why its only going to be a few chapters long. I doubt it will hold my interest to keep writing this story after I watch the next episode, but if you guys like the story I might keep on with it, so just let me know **(^_-)**

Also, I am writing just to write, so be warned that there are probably a million grammatical errors which might bug you guys, and I do not intend to fix them. Writing is not fun when I have to fix things, lol **(^_^)**

Oh! I almost forgot the most important sentence here: Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy **(****^_-)**

Enjoy!

* * *

**Looking For Paradise**

**Chapter 1  
**

**oOoOo**

Today, as Dr. Torres roamed Seattle Grace-Mercy West's unusually quiet halls, she realized something, something that she had failed to see before; Something rather... _Important_. She realized, that when she was unhappy, when she was not feeling her very best, everyone else around her seem to be so giddy, so annoyingly lively. Pretty much the total opposite of what she felt. They all seem so... _Happy_, so fulfilled, so content.

Not that long ago, Dr. Torres herself was exactly like them. She herself was one of them. Not that long ago, she felt like everything had finally fallen into its rightful place. She was in a loving relationship, a healthy, amazing, wonderful relationship, and her career couldn't have been at a better place. At that time, Dr. Calliope I. Torres felt invincible. She felt as if nothing could break her, as if nothing could harm her. She had finally reached paradise, and paradise felt awesome, totally awesome, it felt great!

And everyone else?

Well, if Calliope remembered correctly, at that time, everyone else was dealing with their own personal issues. So life for them wasn't really _that_ great.

Yes, at that time, Callie had it all. She felt like she was on top of the world.

And now?

Now she could clearly see that the tables had turned. That life had unwillingly spun 180 degrees on her.

Take Mark and little Grey, for example. They were happy, moving forward, once again living together. Derek and Meredith had just announced that they had become pregnant. Yang was, well, back to being the 'scalpel hungry' Yang, and was happily married with Owen, which was great! Teddy had found love in the most unconventional of ways (_She married the man first_) Miranda Bailey was happily dating again. And Alex Karev was happy that his Teacher and _hot, hot, hot_ Mentor, Dr. Arizona Robbins, had returned to Seattle Grace-Mercy West.

Yes, to Calliope Torres, it seemed that everyone had found their paradise; That everyone had found their paradise and that she had somehow lost hers.

"Thank you, Karev. I really do appreciate it" From a distance, the walking, dazed off Latina overheard a tired yet smiling Dr. Robbins softly say,

"Don't worry about it..." Then, as Callie stopped in front of the elevator and pressed the 'DOWN' button, she overheard Alex's understanding reply, "I'll page you if I see any changes" Callie discretely glanced over her shoulder, noticing how Arizona hesitantly handed him her patients charts, "Go home and rest. You really look like hell Robbins" Then heard as he hurriedly walked away, shouting: "Good night" Just before he disappeared.

"Goodnight" Arizona softly voiced in return, seconds later sighing as she turned around to make her way towards the elevators. "..." But then suddenly stopped on her tracks, not making a single movement, staring quietly ahead of her for just a few seconds. _...Calliope... _Gorgeous Blue eyes noticing that the Latina was standing not so far away, playing with her cellphone, waiting for the elevator to arrive.

"Dr. Torres" Arizona Robbins managed to somehow force a smile as she greeted the woman while she walked towards her direction. "Goodnight" Then voiced, tired, walking past Calliope to take the stairs instead.

"Um, goodnight..." Callie huskily replied, but was not sure whether Arizona had heard her for she did not once looked back.

And what did Calliope expect anyway? What did she expect when so many harsh things were done and said back then?

_"My lack of interest in seeing you is not a strategy... I'm not the- I'm not playing hard to get,"_ Calliope had said to a bewildered Arizona about a month ago when she had found her moving back into her old apartment one morning,_ "I don't want to see you, because I turned my life upside down for you, and you walked away"_ The Latina was becoming more and more aggravated by the second, _"Because for a week I was cranky" _Yes, that was true_,_ but she was cranky for more time than that._ "You're un-trust worthy, so I don't want to see you,"_ And the Latina couldn't stand it, _"You're self-centered, so I don't want to see you"_ Couldn't stand being around _her_, Around Arizona Robbins any longer. _"I am a hundred percent certain that if I let you back into my life again, you will hurt me again, so I-Don't-Want-To-See-You"_ Why was Arizona so persistent? _"This isn't a ploy, I'm not- I'm not pouting,"_ Why didn't Arizona get it? _"I don't want you in my life!"_ She had shouted to her. _"So get your 'crap' out of my apartment"_ And then walked away. Walked away with Arizona's slightly stunned facial expression graffiti-ed in her brain.

But even after all of that, it seemed that Arizona Robbins still wouldn't understand, wouldn't give up. Because as the day went on, the Blue eyed blond still wouldn't leave her alone, still wouldn't see that she was done; That she didn't want to be with her anymore. So Callie took this opportunity and told her the words. She told her that she had slept with Mark while she was far away saving the lives of tiny humans; That she had slept with Mark more than once, that she didn't regret it at all, and that she had enjoyed every second of it, that she had enjoyed it very much.

And now, about a month later, here they both where, seeing one another in rare occasions such as this one. Saying 'Hello' and 'Goodnight' once in a while. Silently working together on cases from time to time.

But that was it. That was as far as it would go.

The damage was already done.

'Friendship' seems like it's not an option anymore.

Both women were too hurt, deeply hurt to try and understand one another, to keep on.

And now, both women were asking, wondering: Where is 'Paradise' now?


	2. Chapter 2

**Looking For Paradise**

**Chapter 2  
**

**oOoOo**

Gasping for air,

Trying to breathe,

Heart pumping fast,

Every muscle in your entire body is aching, tired, burning,

Running,

Running...

At this very moment, that's exactly what Dr. Arizona Robbins was doing. She was running.

The only time the Pediatrics Surgeon would run, run as if her life depended on it, was when someone's life was at stake. She would run fast, super fast, run non-stop, when she was paged '911' and she was nowhere near the hospital, no where near the scene.

"Dr. Robbins!"

Arizona heard someone calling out to her as soon as she stepped into the hospital's white walls.

"Thank goodness you're here. I'm sorry for calling you on your day off"

And that someone was now handing her a pair of fresh, clean scrubs.

"T-That's okay, little Grey" Arizona greeted breathlessly, "Talk to me, what do we have" Then continued between short breaths.

"What _don't_ we have" Lexie anxiously snorted, "A school bus packed with kids got hit by another school bus... A-And guess what? That other school bus was also packed with kids!" Hurriedly leading the way towards the pit.

"Alright?" Arizona nodded in understanding, walking side by side with the girl, but still a little confused because of the girls reaction.

"Apparently some kids in the bus started a fight while the bus was running" Little Grey continued as they walked, "The driver got distracted and ran a red light, and then got hit by the other school bus"

"Oh" Well, that made sense. "Did you page Dr. Stark?" Arizona questioned, "And Hunt?"

"And Dr. Shepperd, Torres, and Sloan" Lexie quickly replied, "Everyone's on deck... Nurses, Interns, Residents, we've got screaming kids practically coming out of our butts so we need all the help we can get" Kids where screaming all over the place, so yes, they did need all the help they could get.

"Thank you for the wonderful visual, Dr. Grey" Arizona blurted out, "Please contact the schools if it hasn't already been done. They need to get in touch with the makers of the tiny humans, let them know what happened" Soon after running towards the opposite direction than Lexie, "I'm gonna go and change, I'll be right there!" The Pediatrics surgeon shouted from a distance.

**oooooooo**

**Meanwhile; The Pit  
**

"I want my mommy, where's my mommy?" Robert, one of the kids involved in the school bus accident, cried non-stop, "I want my mommy!" Totally scared.

"Don't worry, your mom will be here soon" Callie reassured the crying boy as she tried to get him to stop moving so that she could examine him, "Now, can you please stay still and show me your arm?" She then sweetly asked, trying to calm him down. "Dr. Sloan, the doctor that was here with you a little while ago, told me that it might be broken. So I need to take a look at it so that I can fix it and then send you home" And she tried to touch his arm, but was startled when she heard him shout:

"No!" The eight year old did not want to be touched, not by a stranger, not by anyone.

_...This is why I don't work in Peds..._ Callie reminded herself, sighing. "Look, I just want to see your arm, okay?" She was somewhat running out of patience. She needed to help the boy and then move onto another patient. "If I don't see it then I wont be able to help you. And if I don't help you then you wont be able to go home and play... You do want to go home and play, right?" But it seemed that whatever she did or said was in vain, the kid would just fidget around and shout at her whenever she tried to take care of his wounds.

"Is there a problem, Dr. Torres?" The moment Arizona had stepped into the pit, fully dressed in her Navy Blue scrubs, she had seen what was going on and decided to intervene.

"I..." And Callie, upon hearing Arizona's voice, couldn't help and look up, "Um..." Startled, speechless, her Brown orbs actually meeting Arizona's Blue orbs for the first time in a long time. "I..." Those Blue eyes that she still adored, that she couldn't tare out of her heart no matter how hard she tried and fought. "...No" And after a few seconds of staring and awkward silence she finally decided to speak up, "I mean, yes" Taring her gaze away from the Peds Surgeon to stare at her annoying little patient instead. "I mean, no" And tried to set her mind to the task at hand, tried to examine her patient again, "I've got everything under control here, Dr. Robbins. Thanks for asking" But the kid started shouting and giving her a hard time just like before.

"You do?" Arizona raised an incredulous brow, giving Callie a 'Yea right?' look as she folded her arms across her chest.

"Fine, I don't..." And Callie couldn't help and sigh her answer, giving up, "He wont let me touch him, okay?" Then continued with an exasperated tone, "I don't know what's wrong with him because he wont let me touch him. He wont let anyone touch him!"

"Oh, is that all?" Robbins then casually replied, her voice a little more soft. "Well, maybe I can help you with that" Then grabbed a chair and sat next to the boy, facing Calliope. "Hello there handsome young man, I'm Arizona Robbins" She introduced herself to the young patient, "As you can tell by my clothes, I'm a doctor here" Offering her hand, giving him her best, friendly, goofy smile.

Robert giggled a bit, "That's not a name. That's a state" And accepted Arizona's inviting hand.

"You think my name is funny?" The Peds Surgeon faked a gasp, reaching over to Dr. Torres side to pick up an instrument and start with the basic procedures. "Well, if you think my name is funny, then you're going to get a real laugh out of my friends name over here" She continued in a light tone.

"What's your friends name?" Robert asked, curious. Too engrossed in conversation to realize that Arizona was examining him. Checking his vitals and cleaning his wounds.

"Why don't you ask her herself?" Arizona gave Callie a sincere smile, "She's very friendly, and she doesn't bite" These words that earned her another giggle from the boy.

"..." And Callie, well, Callie was totally speechless with the way that Arizona handled the situation. It just came so naturally to the blond. Its like she always knew the right thing to do, the right words to voice.

"I'm, uh, Doctor Callie Torres" The Latina talked to the boy, doing the same as Arizona, giving the boy a smile and offering her hand. "Wow," Smiling even wider when she saw that the kid accepted her hand, "That's quite a strong handshake you got there" And then proceeded to take a look at his broken arm.

"Callie is short for Calliope" Arizona quickly, teasingly chimed in, earning her a glare from the Latina and another giggle from the boy.

**oooooooo**

**Sometime Later  
**

"Aside from the broken arm, your son is totally fine..."

From a distance, Arizona Robbins overheard Callie talking to Robert's very worried parents. The Surgeon was updating them on their son's status since they had just arrived to the hospital.

"You really have nothing to worry about, your son is a strong, healthy boy, so he should heal pretty quickly"

And watched with a sad smile as Robert's parents started to hug and thank the Latina because of the great news.

Arizona couldn't help and sigh, _...When will it stop?_... Asking herself, softly breathing out and then in as she closed her patients chart and turned around, heading for the elevator. _...When?_... Softly rubbing her chest, _...Because there's just so much that I can take... _Her heart that ached, that ached to be happy again, to feel anything but pain, and being this close to Callie didn't make it any better.

"Um, Dr. Robbins!"

And then, Arizona stopped and turned around, "Yes?" For she had heard the Latina shout her name, and she was approaching her with quick, hasty steps.

"I-I just..." Calliope started, somewhat out of breath, "I just wanted to say thank you, for helping me back there" She took a step closer to the blond. Too close for her own comfort. So close it was starting to become torturous. "The kid, he was being really difficult before you showed up. I... I really couldn't have done it without you" She was desperately wanting to touch Arizona's hand again. To intertwine her fingers together with hers. But she couldn't, she didn't allow herself to, not after everything that has happened between them. Not after everything that she had said to the beautiful blond. "Thank you for helping me, Dr. Robbins"

Arizona took a step back, "There's no need to thank me," Took a step back because being this close without being able to touch the girl was driving her mad, "I was only doing my job. That's all" Forcing a smile and then turning around.

"A-Arizona..."

Arizona stopped all movements; Stopped all movements and exhaled a shaky breath because of the way that Calliope had suddenly said her name. She had said it in such a husky, raw, _desperate_ way.

"Arizona... I-"

She heard the Latina groan and sigh, it seemed like she was unable to form the right words.

"Arizona, we need to-"

"Goodnight, Dr. Torres" But Arizona interrupted the woman, not once turning around to look at her face, and started to walk away. The words that Calliope had said about a month ago still fresh deep within her; Still fresh and that kept repeatedly stabbing her chest. Repeatedly knocking the breath out of her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Looking For Paradise**

**Chapter 3  
**

**oOoOo**

"You're staring again..." That voice being heard at the moment is Mark's raspy, deep voice, "Torres," Mark that was trying to gain the attention of his distracted best friend. "Look away..." But his best friend seemed to be in some sort of spell, in some sort of enchantment, "Stop staring at her" In some sort of enchantment for she was not hearing a word he had just said.

The minute that the Latina had stepped into Joe's Bar to meet with Mark, her Maroon colored eyes have not at all taken a break from staring at Arizona's form from afar.

"If I remember correctly," Mark continued, guiding his bottle of beer to his lips, "Your last words to Blondie were 'I don't want to see you, I don't want to see you, I don't want you in my life'... Or something along those lines" He paused for a second, thinking it over. He knew he was forgetting something, and that something was the deal breaker, that something was what pushed Arizona Robbins to the edge. "Oh, and 'I slept with Mark'," He then pointed out with narrowed eyes, "And let me tell you Torres, that's probably the stupidest thing you've ever said..." He scolded his best friend, "Why would you tell her that? Are you insane?"

Because of that sentence, Arizona Robbins no longer sees Mark as a friend. In fact, Arizona Robbins ignores him completely. To her, its like if he didn't exist. Well, maybe not to _that_ extreme. The blond does give him a death glare from time to time whenever he was close, so she did acknowledge his existence.

"Ugh, not now Mark" The Orthopedics Surgeon let out in a grunt as she unwillingly tore her gaze away from Arizona's alluring form, "She would have found out eventually anyway, so I just cut the crap and went straight to the point" Being forced to remember the not-so-pleasant conversation she had had with Arizona just a little over a month ago.

Calliope could still remember, could never forget the expression on Arizona's face when those words were said. She could still remember how that beautiful smile of hers had faltered within seconds. Could still remember how the blond had inhaled a sharp, trembling breath. How she had averted eye contact and took a step backwards, seeming suddenly disoriented, suddenly out of place; Seeming vulnerable and completely out of breath.

Callie had seen Arizona hurt before, but not this way. Never this hurt.

The only reason the Ortho-god had said those things to the Peds Surgeon, was because she was angry, extremely angry; Because she was scared, confused, and above all, hurt. Deeply hurt.

Yes, she had told the blond that she had slept with Mark. And yes, she might have _lied_ a bit by saying that she didn't regret it and that she had enjoyed it very much; But that was the only way that she was going to get Arizona Robbins to understand, to get her off of her back. Callie needed to breathe. To think. To set her mind and feelings straight, and she was finding it hard to do so with Arizona Robbins following her everywhere she went.

Yes, Calliope might have been an idiot for sleeping on multiple occasions with her 'Man-Whore' of a friend. But because of this, she realized how much she missed being with Arizona; How much she missed her warmth, her delicacy while in the act, her soft giggles and laughs, her touch, her scent. Sex with Mark might have been great, but sex with Arizona was better than great, it was much more than sex, it was making love. It was love.

"What would you do if I told you that I heard that Blondie's dating again?" Mark blurted out after a long moment of silence, glancing over to Arizona and noticing that the blond was no longer with her large group of friends. The Surgeon was alone with another girl, and _that_ other girl was being sort of flirty with her.

"S-She's dating?" And upon hearing this, Callie's Brown eyes left her stare of her beer to instead stare at her best friend. "I mean, she's dating uh?" Then tried again, "Good for her" Sounding like she didn't care at all.

"Uh... Nurses, they talk..." Mark lied about his source, "A lot"

"Ha, tell me about it" Callie snorted, taking Mark's untouched shot of tequila down in one gulp.

Of course Callie knew that nurses talked. The girl had eyes, and ears, so she did notice. She did notice that they've been staring at her and gossiping about her ever since Arizona left for Africa. And then gossiped some more and stared at her some more the moment Arizona came back to Seattle.

"You have a choice here, Torres" Mark continued, sending Joe a signal that he needed another refill. "You can sit here all night staring at Blondie and 'pretending' that you don't care," He shot a glance at a smiling Arizona as he said the words, she seemed to be having a good time with her companion, "Or... You can head up there and tell Robbins that you miss her, that you want her back. That you don't want her dating other people and that you want to give your relationship another shot"

"I don't miss her" Callie instantly denied with an awkward laugh, "I don't want her back. Where did you get that?"

"You're STARING... All of the time" Mark pointed out the obvious again, "Be honest, Torres. You want her back"

Callie let out a deep, frustrated sigh, "Just..." Knowing the man was right, "Just drop it, Mark"

"Fine..." The Plastic Surgeon replied, paying the bill and then standing up. "But don't say I never gave you advice" And then gave Callie a peck on the forehead, ready to go home. "I'm gonna go, do you want to walk back home with me and Lexie?"

"No, that's okay" Calliope managed to weakly smile to the man, "I'll just finish my drink and then I'll be on my away"

"Okay... See you tomorrow" Mark voiced his parting words, "And remember, you have a choice" And after those words were shouted, he was gone.

_...I have a choice..._ And now, here Calliope was, alone with her thoughts. Trying to build up enough courage to talk to the always-so-perky blond,

"Okay, here we go..." But by the time Calliope had set her mind, Arizona was walking out the bar with some girl she had failed to notice before.

* * *

**AN**: I know, there wasn't any Calzona interaction on this one **(^_^)** I'm trying to keep my chapters short and to the point so that I can update faster... I can assure you guys that there will be Calzona on the next one.

Oh! And you guys might want to re-read Chps 1 & 2 again. I have this annoying habit of making adjustments after I post.


	4. Chapter 4

**Looking For Paradise**

**Chapter 4  
**

**oOoOo**

**The Next Day...  
**

"I-I really don't think its such a good idea..." Lexie nervously advised the grumpy Ortho-god as they walked side by side, rushing to get to OR one.

"Just do it" Was that a plead? No. Calliope Torres does not plead. Calliope Torres demands.

"But you don't understand..." Little Grey whined, apprehensive, trying to get out of this situation. "She's nice, very nice, but she's also very, very, _very_ intimidating when you get on her bad side," In seconds adding, "And I really don't want to get on her bad side... Do you see the way she treats Mark?"

"Don't worry, you'll be fine" Callie replied, rolling her Milk Chocolate colored eyes. "You're sort of like her in a way" In the sense that everyone liked her, so it was hard to stay mad at her, "So you wont get on her bad side, okay?" But still understanding where Lexie was coming from. Arizona could be psycho scary when she wanted to.

"You-" Lexie once again began, somewhat raising her voice, "You don't know that!" But then finished in a hiss, looking at her surroundings. Noticing that people were staring at them, and that could never mean anything good.

"Just do it..." Came Callie's husky demand, "You're on her service today, right? So it shouldn't be too hard" Callie wanted to know what exactly was going on between Arizona and that brunette she had seen her walk out of Joe's Bar with last night. Was she her girlfriend? Was she her friend? Was she some girl Arizona just had a one-time-thing with? Who the hell was she? "Find out what you can and then report back to me asap"

But there was silence... A _long_ silence. And that silence could only mean that Lexie wasn't budging, that she wasn't giving in.

"Lexie..." Callie stopped on her tracks and grabbed Lexie's arm. Wanting the girl to look her in the eyes.

"Lexie... Please?" Yes, Callie was desperate, so she was definitely pleading this time.

**oooooooo**

**About Thirty Minutes Later,**

**OR One  
**

"That's too bad, that the casting treatment didn't work..." Arizona Robbins, the leading surgeon in this case, absentmindedly spoke her thoughts; Suddenly breaking the long yet comfortable silence that had settled the moment she had stepped into the operating room. "I was really hoping that it would" Her eyes were doing both, watching the breathtakingly beautiful Orthopedics Surgeon in front of her do her job, and monitoring her tiny patient's vitals closely, ready to step in and help Dr. Torres if anything went wrong.

Arizona was having a bit of a hard time in focusing though, in concentrating in her job.

Why?

Well, because her Blue eyes kept on wondering to the Latinas face against her will; The Latina who was close. So close. So far yet so close.

"Yea, me too..." Callie agreed, slightly shaking her head while letting out an inaudible sigh. Not for one second leaving her sight of the exposed ankle she was working on. "I really hate operating on little kids" Oh yes Callie did, and specially the ones that have not yet reached their first year of age, like this little one laying soundlessly on the table.

Right at this moment, Callie was operating on a seven month old girl who was born with 'Clubfoot' (which means that the child's feet are flexed and turned inward, so she wont be able to walk normally when she starts to do so)

When the child was born, Arizona had recommended the Casting Treatment to straighten her bones since surgery at that young age is not an option. This treatment would usually work for most patients, but in rare occasions such as this one, it seemed like surgery was the only choice.

"I really don't know how you can do this all day, Arizona" Callie huskily kept on, not realizing that she had called her ex-girlfriend by her first name, and certainly not noticing the quizzical glare Arizona had suddenly given her because of it. "Day in and day out opening up little kids like this?... I certainly know that I can't. It would drive me insane..." Then, moments later casually voicing: "Can I have a little more suction here please" And as soon as those words were out, Lexie carefully did as told.

"I try not to think about it" Arizona replied much to her own and Callie's surprise. This was probably the most she had actually spoken to the Latina in the past month.

"It was very difficult at first..." The Peds Surgeon softly continued, reminiscing on her first days as a Surgeon. "I remember panicking over every little beeping sound, being jumpy over every little movement in the room... Operating on kids can do that to you"

"I bet..." Callie definitely agreed, "That must have been quite a sight though" Then smiled at the blond, her eyes settling on Arizona's for a few seconds before returning once again to her task. "I feel bad for the people who worked with you back then, you probably didn't even let them breathe while you were operating" These words that earned her a laugh from the beautiful blond.

"Excuse me, Dr. Robbins?" One of the nurses in the room suddenly interrupted, holding Arizona's buzzing pager, "Dr. Stark is asking for you. He wants to know how much longer you will take"

"Oh, right, I forgot about our consult..." Arizona blurted out, knowing that was the reason Stark was paging her. "Ah, how are we doing, Dr. Torres?" She then asked the Latina in front of her, totally back in professional mode. "Looks like we're almost done here, right?"

"Yup, I'm almost done" Callie said back, confident, smiling at her handy work. "You can go if you have to" She then glanced up at Arizona again, "I have everything under control"

"Alright" Arizona agreed, "Let me know how the surgery goes..." And then turned her attention to Lexie and said: "Come on, little Grey, we have lots to do" Then started to head towards the door.

"Dr. Grey..."

Lexie had heard Dr. Calliope Torres say her name before she could step out of the room,

"Don't forget about the conversation we had earlier"

And by these words, Lexie couldn't help and turn around to glare and groan at the older woman.

"If I don't hear from you by six, I'll make sure you're on my service all week next week, understood?"

"Great" Lexie sighed and turned around, well aware of what those words meant, "This can't be happening to me" It meant that if she didn't do as asked, she wasn't going to see, smell, hear, nor step foot in an OR for a whole week.

* * *

I'm a bit upset because of GA right now... Once I'm over being upset, I'll continue **(^_^)** It might take a while.


End file.
